What is a Tió?

The Tió de Nadal is a Catalan Christmas tradition. From early December, families bring a small log home, give it a face and a red barretina, and cover its back with a blanket to keep it warm.

Feed him well

Every night the children "feed" the Tió with bits of bread, fruit peel and a little water. The better they look after him, the more he eats — and the more he will have to give back on Christmas Eve.

Then hit him

On Christmas Eve (or Christmas Day, depending on the family) the kids send the Tió back under his blanket and leave the room to "pray" for presents. When they come back, they grab sticks and give the poor log a good beating, singing the traditional song:

Caga tió, ametlles i torró, no caguis arengades, que són massa salades…Poop, log — almonds and nougat, don't poop herrings, they're far too salty…

So why "Crap"?

Because the Tió doesn't just give presents — he poops them. His proper name is Caga Tió, literally "poop log". Every whack makes him poop: the kids lift the blanket and find sweets, turrón and small gifts underneath. The party goes on until the Tió poops something unmistakable — a salted herring, a head of garlic or a lump of coal — which means he's empty for the year.

Pure Catalan cheek. That's why every Uncle in our family is an Uncle Crap: a log with a face, a barretina, a blanket on his back — and a gift waiting underneath.